1. “It’s not how well you play the game, it’s deciding what game you want to play.”—Kwame Appiah. This quote separates striving from strategy and reminds me to take a macro view of what I’m doing, like in a video game where you can zoom out and you suddenly see you’ve been running around in one corner of the maze. It loosens someone’s relationship to the game, too, helping to separate having ambition from being ambitious, or accessing hustle without becoming a hustler. P 57
2. Buddhists observe that we’re all on fire. It’s so beautiful to sometimes tune in and see the flickering. P 57
3. ~the vast majority of adult Americans are at the “socialized” stage of development. They have difficulty taking other people’s perspectives and tend to follow assumptions given to them by society (as opposed to assumptions they freely choose). P 58
4. Today when I speak with anyone about anything, I try to hold their perspective with a “light grip”: the knowledge that they, and I, have very incomplete maps of reality. P 60
5. Calling it a product ignores the reality that the only source of stability is whether the mindset of the team leader is resilient or even antifragile (Nassim Taleb’s notion of actually getting stronger with volatility). P 60
6. Carolyn Coughlin at Cultivating Leadership (coaching) ~is the most gifted listener I have ever encountered. She surfaces my hidden assumptions—the ones that hold me rather than me holding them—and teaches me to ask better and better questions. P 60-61
7. I see meeting new people as the opportunity to open a new door to a new world that could change my or their life in some way. Seeing someone’s picture allows me to visualize their intentionality and unleashes more creative ideas about what we can discuss and how I may be able to help them. It also lets me access whether I have a “full-body yes” to actually seeing them and opening this new door, and if I don’t then I take my hand off the door handle. P 61
8. I ask myself “what would be the worst thing” about that outcome not going the way I want? It completely shifted my mindset in the moment. I like the question because it often surfaces a hidden assumption. P 61
9. David Foster Wallace points out in his speech, “This Is Water,” much of life is water to us—we are swimming in it and can’t see it because we’re either in a hurry or not awake to our context. P 61-62
10. ~most often in people’s 30s or 40s, a stage where you begin crafting your own language for what you do as an increasingly “strong poet”—you make your craft your own and view your life as more self-expression than simply playing out other people’s roles for you. P 62
http://grahamduncan.blog/
https://medium.com/@graham.duncan
GRAHAM DUNCAN is the co-founder of East Rock Capital, an investment firm that manages $2 billion for a small number of families and their charitable foundations. Before starting East Rock 12 years ago, Graham worked at two other investment firms. He started his career by co-founding the independent Wall Street research firm Medley Global Advisors. Graham graduated from Yale with a BA in ethics, politics, and economics. He is a member of the Council on Foreign Relations and serves as co-chair of the Sohn Conference Foundation, which funds pediatric cancer research. Josh Waitzkin calls Graham “the tip of the spear in the realms of talent tracking and judgment of human potential in high-stakes mental arenas.”
2. Buddhists observe that we’re all on fire. It’s so beautiful to sometimes tune in and see the flickering. P 57
3. ~the vast majority of adult Americans are at the “socialized” stage of development. They have difficulty taking other people’s perspectives and tend to follow assumptions given to them by society (as opposed to assumptions they freely choose). P 58
4. Today when I speak with anyone about anything, I try to hold their perspective with a “light grip”: the knowledge that they, and I, have very incomplete maps of reality. P 60
5. Calling it a product ignores the reality that the only source of stability is whether the mindset of the team leader is resilient or even antifragile (Nassim Taleb’s notion of actually getting stronger with volatility). P 60
6. Carolyn Coughlin at Cultivating Leadership (coaching) ~is the most gifted listener I have ever encountered. She surfaces my hidden assumptions—the ones that hold me rather than me holding them—and teaches me to ask better and better questions. P 60-61
7. I see meeting new people as the opportunity to open a new door to a new world that could change my or their life in some way. Seeing someone’s picture allows me to visualize their intentionality and unleashes more creative ideas about what we can discuss and how I may be able to help them. It also lets me access whether I have a “full-body yes” to actually seeing them and opening this new door, and if I don’t then I take my hand off the door handle. P 61
8. I ask myself “what would be the worst thing” about that outcome not going the way I want? It completely shifted my mindset in the moment. I like the question because it often surfaces a hidden assumption. P 61
9. David Foster Wallace points out in his speech, “This Is Water,” much of life is water to us—we are swimming in it and can’t see it because we’re either in a hurry or not awake to our context. P 61-62
10. ~most often in people’s 30s or 40s, a stage where you begin crafting your own language for what you do as an increasingly “strong poet”—you make your craft your own and view your life as more self-expression than simply playing out other people’s roles for you. P 62
http://grahamduncan.blog/
https://medium.com/@graham.duncan
GRAHAM DUNCAN is the co-founder of East Rock Capital, an investment firm that manages $2 billion for a small number of families and their charitable foundations. Before starting East Rock 12 years ago, Graham worked at two other investment firms. He started his career by co-founding the independent Wall Street research firm Medley Global Advisors. Graham graduated from Yale with a BA in ethics, politics, and economics. He is a member of the Council on Foreign Relations and serves as co-chair of the Sohn Conference Foundation, which funds pediatric cancer research. Josh Waitzkin calls Graham “the tip of the spear in the realms of talent tracking and judgment of human potential in high-stakes mental arenas.”
Reference
Ferriss, Timothy. Tribe of Mentors: Short Life Advice from the Best in the World (P. 56). Houghton Mifflin Harcourt. Kindle Edition.
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